You is Kind. You is Smart. You is Important.

People often need reminded how good they really are. Life has a way of sucking the goodness out of people. Whether it is temporary or long-term, something comes along to be a “goodness sucker.” When you are a child, you want to be notable in your parent’s eyes. You will ask for their attention in various ways. You have a natural instinct to try to achieve that in any way you can. When it is lacking you may “act out” just to receive some attention. As you get a little older the days on the playground will serve as one of your platforms. You will try to be good at the things you try to gain friends and respect. When there is a lack in the areas mentioned, you may become snotty and even mean to try to demand attention. Then the teenage years come and you start to develop a desire to have a place in society. You may start to dress a certain way or talk a certain way, all in hopes to be the best “you.” As you phase into adulthood, the responsibilities become greater as well as greater amounts of stress. You handle each stress differently and may be able to handle some better than others.

In all of these scenarios some things are still vital. What are those vital things? They include the fact that you matter. Whether or not your parents give you the attention you deserve, you matter. Whether or not your friends on the playground think you’re the best at things, you matter. Whether or not people understand why you are acting like you do, you matter. Whether or not the stresses of adult have weighed you down, you matter. In the good and the bad situations in life the same theme runs through it all – you matter.

We can easily forget this when it comes to life, as I speak from experience. Each one of us has various experiences, so what I have experienced may not pale in comparison to what you have experienced. However, as a third child of four, I can remember doing some things to try to make myself stand out in my family. I can remember enjoying attention from my parents. Craving the time spent with mom and dad, individually and together. As I went to a few different schools, I can remember trying to prove myself at each school. Even at the school I attended the longest, I can remember continually trying to prove myself. As one who had struggles as a teen, I can remember trying to be more mature to fit in with those older than I was, including adults. As an adult, I have had various stresses and found myself swimming in worry. I wish I would have had someone there reminding me along the way that I mattered. This last sentence is not to say that I was degraded nor did I never receive any encouragement, but life has a way of drifting. Amongst our drifts, we tend to forget to remember that we matter or remind someone else that they matter.

Recently, I saw the movie titled, “The Help.” This movie was about the lives of black women who served as maids in the homes of white families. The maids were often referred to as “the help.” They were often degraded, due to issues with segregation. Some families built separate bathrooms for their “help” to use. These maids were more than cleaning ladies. They were also nannies to their young kids. They invested their life into their work, caring for the families.

One of the main characters worked for a family with two young children. The older of the two was around three-years old. The maid to this family would often say to this young girl, “You is smart. You is kind. You is important.” Then, she would have the little girl repeat the phrase back a time or two. She wanted this little girl to know that she mattered, not only in the eyes of the maid eyes but also in the eyes of the little girl.

As a parent, I have found that it is necessary to make sure my kids know that they matter. There have been several times when I told my son that I was proud of him he would get a smile on his face. It immediately showed me how important it was for me to express that to him. There have also been times when he would ask “why” I was proud of him.

For parents, I want to challenge you to let your children know that you are proud of them, not just love them, no matter their age. I still enjoy it when I hear from my parents those types of words. We cannot fill their minds with encouragement that simply makes them feel good but tell them honest words describing why you are proud of them. This is also important when you may be talking to a younger child that is experiencing some jealousy of older siblings.

I also want you, as a reader, to understand that you matter. You is kind. You is smart. You is important. You are good at many things. May you utilize those good things as you go through life. You are important to your culture and society. You have a lot to contribute. You matter to many, including me. Though I may not know you, I would be able to find something to be proud about. Celebrate your accomplishments and revel in your smallest of victories!

Remember, you matter! Now, say this phrase a few times, “You is kind, you is smart, and you is important!”