1. Listen to your spouse. That involves both the words they say and the way their body gives you messages. When you are able to hear what your spouse is saying, it makes things easier. However, it takes lots of practice and exposure to understand them. There may still be times that you may think you hear one thing, but your spouse was trying to communicate something different. Also, when your spouse says something that offends you, it may have been because of something you said to them to cause them to come back with offensive words. When spouses go back and forth, that is called the Crazy Cycle. It is up to the "bigger" person to stop it. Listening to your spouse includes all times and occasions. May God bless you with good ears to hear and discern what your spouse means and needs.
2. Marriage is 100%-100%. Some of the 100% from each person is a sense of sacrifice, or offering of yourself to the marriage. Have you sacrificed in your marriage? What have you given up for the sake of your marriage? Christ is our example of what it means to sacrifice - he gave himself up for the church. Our daily challenge is to give up ourselves for someone else - our spouse, an acquaintance, a stranger, or even an enemy. Offering of ourselves is one way we can be the church of Christ!
3. Do you have any problems forgetting what your spouse likes/dislikes? Maybe you can take some time to sit down with each other and ask questions, then write down the answers. These would be things that make them feel good. For example, if your wife likes nail polish, ask her what kind she likes. If your husband has a particular hobby, find out what he would like to have that he may not buy for himself (tools, video games, hunting/fishing equipment, instrument equipment, etc.) Maybe if you are passing a restaurant and one says, "We should go there sometime." Keep that in mind the next time you're looking for a place to go eat.
4. Do you and your mate still sit by each other to watch TV? If you don't, for whatever reason, take some time to sit next to each other. Hold hands, to add to the situation. If it isn't your practice to sit near each other, then you don't have to sit by each other from now on, just do it occasionally. Don't let kids be in the middle during this time. Do you go shopping together? Maybe one or both of these can be a way you can be appearing or involved in your marriage.
Marriage is about being "in the 'ring'". May you understand how your marriage can be that much stronger as you are practicing heaRING, offeRING, remembeRING, and appeaRING in your marriage.
Have a great week!
Serving Him ~
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