In the Ring: HonoRING, CheeRING, PerseveRING, & ReveRING

Marriage. It is a union in which I honestly thought I would be a older-than-average guy before I found "the one." However, I truly believe that it was God's timing for me to find my mate. We met in an unlikely time. We had known of each other for a few years prior but now lived over 600 miles apart when we started dating. We both were not in a relationship. We didn't expect anything like this to happen, at this time and with each other but it did. It makes me happy each time I relive it.

Every couple has their story. I find it fascinating to think of the variations that come in bringing people together into marriage. A few variations:

1. The "high school sweethearts"
2. One spouse more than 5 years older than other spouse
3. Unplanned pregnancy
4. Long-distance relationship
5. One or both been married before
6. One or both have children already
7. Blind date
8. One couple each brings a sidekick friend - and two friends marry
9. Late-in-life widow and widower find companionship

You can see there are different variations and these are still filled with variations within variations.

Sunday we concluded our "In the 'Ring'" sermon series on marriage. We looked at four more words to put into practice in the realm of marriage. Here are some applications to choose from to use this week...

• HonoRING ~ Live up to the vows that you took. Marriage is not easy and it will take effort. Put in the effort, and then some to make your marriage rewarding.
• CheeRING ~ Give your spouse at least one compliment a week. That may sound like a long time span in between, but I am not referring to telling the spouse things you may tell them already. These are something more "out of the blue" and unexpected. Find a way to cheer them on if they are pursuing a life goal.
• PerseveRING ~ Has your marriage lost it's luster? Try getting some wax out to polish it up and make it shine again. That may mean thinking back to why you fell in love with them, what made them so great. That may mean going to see a counselor or some other professional to talk. That may mean a host of things to give your marriage a much needed buffing.
• ReveRING ~ Lift up your spouse in any way you can, specifically publicly. It could be in front of their spouse, co-workers, children, or any other friends and family. Let others know you think they are number one in your eyes!

It is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day of life and letting your marriage get lost in the shuffle. I am not absent of such a habit, unfortunately. Take time to strengthen it with actions from the words we've discussed over the past four weeks.

Now it's your turn...What would you provide for additional applications with any of the above words?

Who Won in 1988?

In America, the month of March is quite busy because of the phenomenon that has been dubbed "March Madness".  There are sixty-four NCAA Division I basketball teams that start the playoff toward a "national champion".  It is probably the best time to watch college basketball because every game every team must play hard.  One loss and you're out.  Hopes shattered. For some, no more next year.

This month can be quite "maddening" because of all the games that are played, especially the first few rounds. Of course, with each round the total number is reduced by half.  One of the fun things about the tournament is that sometimes a team who was not supposed to do well will do well (even if they don't win it all).  They upset team after team, tossing dreams to the curb.  

As "March Madness" is focused a lot on winning and losing, life also can be like that.  This thought brings us to this week's quote...

The wonderful thing about the game of life is that winning and losing are only temporary...unless you quit.  ~ Dr. Fred Mills

Do you recall who won the National Championship in 1988?  If you live in Kansas you do (hint).  I remember it also because, being an Oklahoma University fan, they were beat out by Kansas University for that prized possession.  

If you don't remember the winner of 1988, then what about 1991, 1996, 1983, 2002?  I don't know without looking them up.  Even then I may not remember that particular team winning.  The idea of those victories are important to the players, fans, and the school, but most people treat it as a "here now, gone tomorrow" kind of thing.  

Life seems so important in the present.  However, oftentimes we will look back at something and think it was not as important as it seemed at the time.  Though it may feel important to someone to win and frustrate you to lose, all those are temporary.  Even if you lose your place in line, it is just a temporary inconvenience.  When, or if, you quit, that is where problems can come about because now you're not going anywhere.  Don't quit...keep going...look to the future!

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Giving Up is Permanent

It is no fun not to succeed. I think that everyone likes to win. It may not always be at "any expense", but, to this day, I haven't found anyone who doesn't like to do well at something. Whether it is an assignment at school, fixing up their house, dressing themselves, thriving at their job, or working with a committee. We are taught to do well from the beginning...by obeying our parents/guardians. We get praised for a job well done and receive the opposite for bad choices we make.

When was the last time you felt defeated? It wasn't that long ago that I tried to accomplish something that I didn't go away from feeling "successful". I am my worst critic. This was something that I did put in my 100%, but the result didn't make it to that percentage. However, with anything, I look to the future and do not have hopes of giving up. That brings us to this week's quote...

Being defeated is only a temporary condition;
giving up is what makes it permanent. ~ Marilyn vos Savant

Most often I think of this quote relating to an insignificant matter - losing a game, bombing a presentation, failing a test, etc. However, what about other areas. What about a marriage relationship? Where you have difficulties with each other, do you give up or see that there is a future where things can be worked out? What about financial strain (one of the top reasons couples fight), do you give up on life or seek ways you can get help?

There are many other areas to discuss that are ongoing situations. Maybe it is work, in-laws, extended family, neighbors, or church. The situations that are only around for a bit are easy to not give up on, but those chronic, ongoing problems can weigh us down so much that we want to just quit.

I urge you, don't quit! I've been in difficult situations where I've wanted to give up, so I know what it means to stick with it. You are more valuable than giving up. Your marriage, job, church, or other situations are more valuable than to give up on them.

Continually learning the lesson...

Working Hard by Doing Hard Work

We have a common phrase we say when it seems we are not able to complete a task..."I can't". You've said it, I've said it, and those yet to be born will say it. I remember saying it in school when trying to find an answer to a question. However, there are times it feels that way with God. That feeling where you just can't go on another minute/day with the situation the way it is right now.

Schools have started; practices have started; life has always started. All these things require us to work hard. This brings us to this week's quote...

Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. ~ Newt Gingrich

Usually, when we say "I can't" we haven't even arrived at the point of perseverance. However, when you get to the point of thinking you can't do it any more after putting in the hard work, you have to continue working hard to complete your goal.

I encourage you to keep on working hard in your marriage, Christian walk, at your job, at school, a giving up bad "habits", at starting good "habits", in your friendships, in your sports practices, in coaching and in other areas of life.

Work hard at working hard!

Persevering...

E-mail Encouragement: Just One More Time

I hope your week has gone well so far. I hope that you’ve been able to do some “tilling” into people’s lives this week. Or maybe it has been some “working” of the soil. Or, even some “fertilizing.” Whatever it is, I hope that you have seen God in your days in ways that have surprised you. I know that I’ve had some moments which God has used my “weakness” for His glory. God definitely shows up when you least expect it. Just tonight, I was thankful that God put in my path someone who’d I least expected. It was just a “working of the soil” moment! That is not even mentioning all the “working of the soils” that was done when I was at the school on Wednesday.

Thomas Edison, known for the invention of the light bulb (among other things), like most inventors, failed many times during his life as an inventor. From his experiences, offers up this great quote…

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” ~ Thomas Edison

How many times have we failed at something, and then to just give up? I am sure a number of times. Where there are tangible consequences, then we are less likely to give up (i.e. doing school work for a grade, rather than doing the work to simply “learn”). If you have ever tried to share Jesus with someone (whether it be an invitation to church, a note of encouragement, an attempt to be evangelistic, etc.) and failed, you are probably not real eager to try it again. You feel like a failure. What about thinking that it wasn’t the right time for that person to be open? Or, maybe you could just tweak your approach to make it better. Or, maybe you just didn’t “see” the right person to approach, and it really is the next person that is open and ready. However, if you stop after either one of these, you could be preventing a huge wave of people who you were going to influence. Just like if Thomas Edison would have stopped with a few failures, he would have never let his “light” shine on so many other people. If the first few attempts of a glass bulb that encased filaments and gas would have prevented him from going on, he would have missed a huge wave of people to influence.

Who will you shed your “light” on this week? Don’t limit to how few, but to the many!!! Don’t have a goal of 1, 5, 10, etc., have an attitude of EACH person that I come in contact with I will be a light to them…not giving up! Remember, even if you fail, just try one more time – that may be the one who needs your “light” the most!!!

How has God surprised you lately?...