My parents would probably tell you that I was a handful to raise. I did not do things that would have landed me in handcuffs or sent to the principal’s office. No, I was a smart aleck. My mouth caused me to be a “handful.” I remember being upset with my father and hollering down the hall “You’re the worst father in the world!” Needless to say, my father came back and let me know he didn’t approve. My parents were smokers and we didn’t go on a vacation one summer, I told them, “If you guys wouldn’t smoke, we’d have at least $520 extra dollars a year to go on a vacation.” That didn’t go over too well, either. Still another time, when I was twenty-two years old and was traveling to see my fiancé, I stayed at friends of the family overnight. When I talked to my mom after she had called to see if I had arrived safely, I communicated to her that I didn’t need to check in with her, as I was older now. This caused her to be very upset with me.
Can you see how I was a handful?
God must have been laughing at me as He knew that when I became a father I would be dealt some humbling blows. I have only been a father for three years, but I have already had my fair share of humble pie pieces to eat.
The first piece was just seeing my firstborn in the flesh and thinking “He’s mine and I’m responsible for him.” I started to feel a love that was unlike anything else I had ever felt. A love that feels pain and “hurts me more than it hurts him.” A love that loves always even when I do not like all the things he does. A love that is proud when I see him do something that his mother or I have instructed him to do – not go beyond limits or use his manners.
The other pieces came in times where he showed signs of stubbornness – unfortunately comes from both parents. He also has an unfortunate trait that I remember possessing, which is his keen ability to ask for something to drink or a snack as bedtime approaches to be able to stay up a few minutes more. Also, once he is in bed to need to go to the bathroom one more time.
Now that I have a daughter, she is bringing even more fun to my life. I love seeing her personality coming through as she is developing into a toddler. It will be interesting to see what type of “parent curse” she brings to my life. What will her personality bring about that reflects me when I grew up, that my son’s didn’t? I look forward to the “emotional moments” of seeing her excel in areas of learning that my son is experiencing.
I never would have thought that I would have had children that reminded me so much of myself and the stories I heard about me from my parents. It is unfortunate, the mannerisms that come about that remind me of one of my parents when it comes to dealing with my children. I say this “tongue-in-cheek,” that it is all just a “curse.”
Looking at my children through a father’s lens has caused me to be more appreciative of my parents and what I made them endure (don’t tell them that). It has also caused me to look at myself differently by viewing what I do through God’s perspective.
He must be proud when we make choices that are beneficial or when we use our manners. Maybe it is other times when we use the talents that He gave us to do good things or share our faith with others. Then, there’s the other side, when we make poor choices and it probably frustrates Him, possibly because we didn’t learn the lesson in the first place.
Seeing a situation through a different perspective can cause us to be humbled and appreciative. Think about how the “parent curse” has impacted you. After that, may we appreciate the children in our life a bit more, but most importantly, appreciate the Father in heaven more for what He deals with in us.
Love is a multifaceted component. One of those facets is the love for a child. This facet will most likely cause you to have many feelings you couldn’t imagine having until your child was born. Whether you’re a mother or a father, enjoy seeing your children through your lens and then correlating it to how God, the Father, sees and loves you.
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