Twisty Life

Define life.

Can it really be defined? Every person has a different vantage point to the scene of life. How they see life and what they've experienced in life is very different from one person to the next. Some have experienced very dark times and some have been sheltered. Some have have grown up paycheck-to-paycheck and some do not know what is like to go without. Some have had no parents and some have had two parents and some have had more than two parents. Some have been educated and some have had little education. Moving multiple times and living in the same area all ones life. The list could continue.

So to ask you to define life would be interesting because your definition would be from your vantage point and that would be much different than mine. But that is what makes life so interesting. Sometimes in life things will seem bad but it will turn out for the good...that brings us to this week's quote...

Life has many twists and turns and sometimes what looks like a very bad day can just be clearing the way for good things to come. ~ J Kim Wright

I really like this quote about life. Life seems to be like one of those toys which will back up and go a different direction when it encounters an obstacle. I'm sure you've seen one. They will keep going and going because there isn't a stationery object that will keep them from going somewhere. It allows the toy to be in control, not the obstacle. There is greater things in the future.

I don't normally put scripture in these writings, but Philippians 1:12** seems to fit with this quote about Paul having some undesired things happen, but they have come out for good.

Friends, you've had a bad day from time to time. I think it is interesting how I can look back at my bad days and sometimes see that those days are camouflaged and turn into being something good. Sometimes there are the good things that I never saw coming...I love those days! I call those situations, surprises."

Look at the days to come with a perspective that the days may not be able to be defined, but good things can come from them.

Enjoy the "twisty life!"

Now it's your turn...what has been twisty in your life that has come out good/positive?

**Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel.

Looking Through the Lens of a Father

My parents would probably tell you that I was a handful to raise. I did not do things that would have landed me in handcuffs or sent to the principal’s office. No, I was a smart aleck. My mouth caused me to be a “handful.” I remember being upset with my father and hollering down the hall “You’re the worst father in the world!” Needless to say, my father came back and let me know he didn’t approve. My parents were smokers and we didn’t go on a vacation one summer, I told them, “If you guys wouldn’t smoke, we’d have at least $520 extra dollars a year to go on a vacation.” That didn’t go over too well, either. Still another time, when I was twenty-two years old and was traveling to see my fiancé, I stayed at friends of the family overnight. When I talked to my mom after she had called to see if I had arrived safely, I communicated to her that I didn’t need to check in with her, as I was older now. This caused her to be very upset with me.

Can you see how I was a handful?

God must have been laughing at me as He knew that when I became a father I would be dealt some humbling blows. I have only been a father for three years, but I have already had my fair share of humble pie pieces to eat.

The first piece was just seeing my firstborn in the flesh and thinking “He’s mine and I’m responsible for him.” I started to feel a love that was unlike anything else I had ever felt. A love that feels pain and “hurts me more than it hurts him.” A love that loves always even when I do not like all the things he does. A love that is proud when I see him do something that his mother or I have instructed him to do – not go beyond limits or use his manners.

The other pieces came in times where he showed signs of stubbornness – unfortunately comes from both parents. He also has an unfortunate trait that I remember possessing, which is his keen ability to ask for something to drink or a snack as bedtime approaches to be able to stay up a few minutes more. Also, once he is in bed to need to go to the bathroom one more time.

Now that I have a daughter, she is bringing even more fun to my life. I love seeing her personality coming through as she is developing into a toddler. It will be interesting to see what type of “parent curse” she brings to my life. What will her personality bring about that reflects me when I grew up, that my son’s didn’t? I look forward to the “emotional moments” of seeing her excel in areas of learning that my son is experiencing.

I never would have thought that I would have had children that reminded me so much of myself and the stories I heard about me from my parents. It is unfortunate, the mannerisms that come about that remind me of one of my parents when it comes to dealing with my children. I say this “tongue-in-cheek,” that it is all just a “curse.”

Looking at my children through a father’s lens has caused me to be more appreciative of my parents and what I made them endure (don’t tell them that). It has also caused me to look at myself differently by viewing what I do through God’s perspective.

He must be proud when we make choices that are beneficial or when we use our manners. Maybe it is other times when we use the talents that He gave us to do good things or share our faith with others. Then, there’s the other side, when we make poor choices and it probably frustrates Him, possibly because we didn’t learn the lesson in the first place.

Seeing a situation through a different perspective can cause us to be humbled and appreciative. Think about how the “parent curse” has impacted you. After that, may we appreciate the children in our life a bit more, but most importantly, appreciate the Father in heaven more for what He deals with in us.

Love is a multifaceted component. One of those facets is the love for a child. This facet will most likely cause you to have many feelings you couldn’t imagine having until your child was born. Whether you’re a mother or a father, enjoy seeing your children through your lens and then correlating it to how God, the Father, sees and loves you.

Influencing Youth

About every 10 years it seems that the styles of dress change dramatically, to one degree or another. I just received an e-mail from "All Pro Dad" which examined how a father's influence can affect how his daughter dresses. This impacted me even if I don't have a daughter.

The other day when I was subbing a teenage girl was displaying a complacent attitude about being called an inappropriate name which depicts her morality. Within the same period she told me she was going to play football next year. She is not even close to any type of size that would be able to hold her own on the football field. She is excited, at this time, about playing. In reality, and having played a little organized football in my younger years, I doubt she will make it to the first game, but that isn't the point here.

Discussing football led to discussing what locker room she would use. She communicated a lack of care regarding dressing in front of the rest of the (male) team. I couldn't let this moment go by without suggesting that she need to "have more respect for herself" than to "not care" about where she changes. I don't know if this teenage girl has a good father-figure in her life or not. But statistics show that fathers have a very high influence on their daughters' self-esteem and other areas. I hope that teens like her will be able to develop more "care" regarding their lifestyles, whether it is through their parents' influence or others' whom they trust. May we be praying for areas like this, that God might use you to help make a difference, whether you have children or they are your children.

Boys and girls, sons and daughters, each need good modeling and influences from their parents. If you have children in your home, do all you can to continually stay involved in their life. If your children are separated from your home, due to a divorce or other removal, still use every chance you can to be involved in their life. If you are in the latter category, it will be more challenging, but stay involved! If you are in the first category, don't take it for granted that your children will always be in your home, take every night as a special night to be a family.

Making the most of every moment...
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To read the short e-mail that I received, you can view it online at http://www.allprodad.com/pod/podlist.php?y=2008&m=4 .Then click on April 29.