Leaving a Legacy of Yourself to Yourself

Legacy...something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past (reference Mirriam-Webster). As a parent, I am often conscience of the fact that what I do with and in front of my children will have a long-term effect on them. I am creating a legacy for how they will operate (act, prioritize, associate, etc.). Whether that is how I treat their mother, how I walk the Christian walk, how I treat others, how I act in public, or how I raise them, there are so many areas which this applies.

I was just thinking that I will often say to people, in person or on the phone, with sincerity, "Have a good day!" Lately I've heard my 4-year old say that to people when we leave. It gives you that warm fuzzy feeling because you know you are showing a positive example to your child.

I think that when we go day to day, as parents, we may forget that compromising on some areas in life may have some detrimental outcomes to our children's future. But think about how some of the same areas of compromise can have detrimental outcomes to our own future. That brings us to this week's quote...

Create the kind of self you will be happy to live with all your life. ~ Foster C. McClellan

If you've ever played Jenga you know that it is inevitable that the tower will fall. You build and build, but sometimes things happen that causes the tower to fall and you start the game over. In life, I think we have a tendency to operate the same way. Each day is a building process, even adding to others' lives. Some days we may "tear down" some others with a choice we made. Then, other days we are building back up. There seems to be a constant building and tearing down. Hopefully, there is more building than tearing down!

As you are building on your own life, you should look to have a day that is creating a legacy, within you, that you are going to be building up most days that the future will be a good one.

I am not talking just about morals, treating others, the Christian walk, but also our physical health is important. Whether it is our diet, exercise, smoking, drugs, alcohol, etc., the future may reflect on how we treated ourselves years prior. One nutrition fact I heard of late, that it takes about 60 minutes of walking to expend a 12 oz. can of soda. So, you can either increase your exercise for the day or decide to cut out that extra and drink water for one meal. That really put it into perspective for me, both from a personal and parenting perspective.

What will the "you" look like in 5, 10, or 30 years? Will you be happy to live with yourself at that time in your life?

Now it's your turn...what choices have you made that caused you to learn from, to change to make your future better?

Tell Me. Show Me. Involve Me.

Everyone has different learning styles. Certain groups are going to have similar styles and may be grouped into one of a few various styles. I think we all possess the ability to learn something from every methodology; we just prefer one or two more.

Maybe you are a person who likes to sit and listen to people. You may soak it in. Or you may see something and retain the information better. I think a combination of one of those with "doing" will help you grasp the concept all the more. That brings us to this week's quote...

Tell me and I will forget. Show me and I may remember. Involve me and I will understand. ~ Unknown

It seems there are so many areas this quote is applicable. Directions, for instance, someone could tell me how to drive from one place to another and I may remember some of it (presuming there are several turns, etc.). I may be able to visualize it, to remember it more, if shown on a map. However, I will likely understand it much more after I have driven the route and know what to look for as I drive.

Careers are another example. You can go to college and be told many things, but that doesn't guarantee that you will know how to "do" a job. You can shadow someone for any length of time and see how they respond to various situations, but you are different and may respond differently. You can live and work in a career and be able to understand far more than you were ever told or shown, so to be able to do well at your job.

A third example is parenting. Were you one of those that had the "great ideas" before you had kids? "My kids aren't going to act like that" may have been your thoughts; partially because you thought you knew how to handle a child. I was one of those. To some extent that may be true, as I read or heard things on parenting. Following an example, TV or real life, I've learned some other ways of effective parenting. However, actually being in the middle of it, I have learned much more. As each child is different, there are applications to parenting one must apply at various times in various ways.

I like this quote when it comes to being involved in their Christian walk. There is only so much one can retain when told about the information pertaining to Christianity. I use a projection system to help people retain the information a bit more, and that only goes so far. Trying to spur people on to practicing the things they are informed about will allow them to retain much more or making the information that is being told and shown to them stick in an experiential way, also increases retention.

As you go through life, do not let yourself be limited by the auditory or the visual, rather go out and do things to grasp the deeper knowledge.

Now it's your turn...what is your example of gaining more knowledge of experiencing over hearing or seeing?

Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus - My View

cc Within the past few months a video on YouTube was released that was titled “Why I hate Religion, but Love Jesus,” by Jefferson Bethke. At the time of this writing the video currently has been viewed 20,757,918 times. This video went “viral,” which is one that becomes popular through the process of Internet sharing. I am sure that some of those numbers were repeated views. However, that number is still astonishing. It definitely raises some questions for us all.

If you haven’t viewed the video, what are your initial thoughts from the title? Does it strike you as true or false? Regardless of your answer, why did you answer it the way you did?

If you have viewed the video, what was your reaction? Agree or disagree? Why or why not?

Often times the term “religion” has been symbolic of “Christianity.” The problem seems to be when “religion” becomes equal to “Christianity” because they are not. Religion shows the institutional side of Christianity, which many seem to not be attracted to at all. Christianity is about Christ, which I see is about relationships. Religion is about showing up and checking off a list of duties you deem necessary. Christianity is about putting self second to other things to live a life of servitude.

Religion attempts to look good, from the structures or décor of the buildings to the clothes you are wearing. Christianity may look nice but that isn’t a priority.

I grew up with “religion” in mind. The denomination I have attended since birth made “doing it right” a priority over what it actually means to “do it right” outside of the church building. I had no idea what I was supposed to “do” in my everyday life; how I was supposed to live out my Christianity. I only knew I was trying to get “you” to look like me.

In one portion of Jefferson’s poem he challenges by saying, “Religion might preach grace, but another thing they practice; Tend to ridicule God's people, they did it to John The Baptist; They can't fix their problems, and so they just mask it; Not realizing religion's like spraying perfume on a casket.”

I think that grace is one of those “Christianese” words that we have used in churches forever. However, the depth of its use has become stripped and devalued. It has become a selfish word, meaning that you like grace given to you but have a difficult time giving it to some people. It is a challenging word to practice. The time you need to practice it may be the most difficult. The religious will sometimes throw the “Jesus” card out there to think He will fix everything, when, in fact, He may not. So, His name is used as a mask when a situation may not actually get better. On occasion, using phrases like “God will make a way,” “He doesn’t give us more than we can handle,” or “God works all things out for good” are phrases that have truth in some circumstances but are not guarantees for every situation.

Here are some additional lines from Jefferson’s poem, “See the problem with religion, is it never gets to the core; It's just behavior modification, like a long list of chores; Like lets dress up the outside make look nice and neat; But it's funny that's what they use to do to mummies while the corpse rots underneath.” Have you ever had a religious experience where you didn’t feel you made it past the surface? Instead, you did your religious things out of duty? Or dressing up to look nice. How about the thought of looking like religious “mummies” by dressing up? Religion just seems to be about the wrong things. It tends to keep away the relationship and is concerned about the “what” you do in life and how often it’s done.

We can all put on a good front, as that is what the institutionalized part of “religion” seems to cause us to do. It is like Jefferson put it, “like [we’re] saying [we] play for the Lakers just because [we] bought a jersey.” We want to look like we belong to Jesus but it doesn’t go past the covering.

The “religious” in the Bible were often corrected for their outside acts and dead hearts. Jesus called them fools. All they were doing was living a life following the rules. The church needs to let Jesus in, not just spew “Jesus” out from their mouths. Jesus is the cure for sin and “religion” can cause you to have an infection. It makes you feel good but it doesn’t go deep. Religion causes us to work but Jesus already did the work.

Understanding what Jesus did and why God allowed what Jesus did should cause us to be eternally grateful and humbled. It is not us who had to pay the penalty we deserved to receive because of sin. When sin came into the world, in the Garden of Eden, God separated Himself from us. To allow Jesus to die was God’s plan to be able to have the intimate relationship with us. Religion simply does not do that. Those that have a relationship with Jesus are religious, in nature, but those that are religious do not necessarily have a relationship with Jesus.

I am thankful that Jesus died so that I can have a relationship with Him, His Father, and the Holy Spirit. May I never be just religious.

Being a Family, “Man” Style

Sunday, I had the chance to hear instead of speak.  It doesn’t happen very often due to my profession being a minister.  

The guest speaker spoke on “family”.  This is a subject that I really think is an incentive for people who are looking for Jesus.  However, relationships are what women tend to be wanting to be involved in.  Think about it, relationships involve closeness, talking, sharing of feelings, and that is pretty much the opposite of what men are attracted to, especially those who are not WANTING church.

Are you one of those guys or is your significant other one of those guys?  A church offers “small groups” and that is, again, the opposite of what you are looking for in church.  That is about “talking” or “getting close”.  The males reading this, specifically those from 14-50 (give or take) may not care about those issues that involve “being a family”.  These types of guys are generally looking to be “islands”.  They are willing to help out on projects, but do not want to be involved in ongoing “getting to know each other” activities. Men tend to want to act like ostriches by burying our head in the sand and not talking about issues.

The problem is, we all have issues.  The other problem is that we are not cut out to handle all the issues that life hands us.  Whether we like it or not, as men, we want help, but are too prideful to ask for it.

We may not need “friends” but we men want other men to grunt with, share beverages with, high-five, exchange “did you see that [dunk…catch…flip…crash…etc.]”, or complain to.
Sometime, somewhere, life is going to hand us, men, a blow that is too big to handle.  Death, disease, bankruptcy, infidelity, addiction, etc. What do you do?  That is where you need someone to turn to.  Have trust issues?  The “family” may be the only people you can trust…family are those that do not turn their backs on you.

Family isn’t about talking, but about having those who you can be masculine around and still know that they have your back.

“Family” may not be the best “manly” word.  Brotherhood, team, fraternity, or lodge may seem more “manly”.  However, it is all the same, in essence.

What the church offers has all the components of those other “manly” words, but they do not offer the opportunity for heaven.

Sometime, somewhere you, as a man, are going to be interested in what “family” can do for you…I will be waiting for that time to show you how “manly” Christianity can be!