Being a Family, “Man” Style

Sunday, I had the chance to hear instead of speak.  It doesn’t happen very often due to my profession being a minister.  

The guest speaker spoke on “family”.  This is a subject that I really think is an incentive for people who are looking for Jesus.  However, relationships are what women tend to be wanting to be involved in.  Think about it, relationships involve closeness, talking, sharing of feelings, and that is pretty much the opposite of what men are attracted to, especially those who are not WANTING church.

Are you one of those guys or is your significant other one of those guys?  A church offers “small groups” and that is, again, the opposite of what you are looking for in church.  That is about “talking” or “getting close”.  The males reading this, specifically those from 14-50 (give or take) may not care about those issues that involve “being a family”.  These types of guys are generally looking to be “islands”.  They are willing to help out on projects, but do not want to be involved in ongoing “getting to know each other” activities. Men tend to want to act like ostriches by burying our head in the sand and not talking about issues.

The problem is, we all have issues.  The other problem is that we are not cut out to handle all the issues that life hands us.  Whether we like it or not, as men, we want help, but are too prideful to ask for it.

We may not need “friends” but we men want other men to grunt with, share beverages with, high-five, exchange “did you see that [dunk…catch…flip…crash…etc.]”, or complain to.
Sometime, somewhere, life is going to hand us, men, a blow that is too big to handle.  Death, disease, bankruptcy, infidelity, addiction, etc. What do you do?  That is where you need someone to turn to.  Have trust issues?  The “family” may be the only people you can trust…family are those that do not turn their backs on you.

Family isn’t about talking, but about having those who you can be masculine around and still know that they have your back.

“Family” may not be the best “manly” word.  Brotherhood, team, fraternity, or lodge may seem more “manly”.  However, it is all the same, in essence.

What the church offers has all the components of those other “manly” words, but they do not offer the opportunity for heaven.

Sometime, somewhere you, as a man, are going to be interested in what “family” can do for you…I will be waiting for that time to show you how “manly” Christianity can be!

I Give Up...Something I Treasure - Ruth 2:8-13

I am such the father of a 2-year old that watches Backyardigans (a cartoon on Nickelodeon) because as I looked at the word "treasure" in the title, I started singing a song that the Backyardigans sing on one of their "adventures".

We all treasure things. By that I don't mean that it is necessarily one of the top ten things that is on our list of favorites. Rather, I simply mean that we value it greatly, whether we realize it or not.  Take for instance, complaining.  You may not realize how much you treasure it, but if you find yourself doing it a lot, you probably "treasure" it.  

Yesterday, we continued our search into the idea of "giving up".  Not quitting, in the negative sense, but rather, in the positive.  Thinking of things that you might be able to give up for a "season" that will cause a void in your life, which, in turn, would hopefully, draw you closer to Him.  Here are some applications to choose from to use this week...

1. Self-Reflect ~ If you haven't given something up, yet, think about some things that you value.  Foods, hobbies, habits, etc.  Then, decide that you would like to make a small change and choose to give that up...the series is only 2 more weeks!
2. Consider ~ Think about what God gave up in His only Son?  He gave up part of His "family" for you.  Think of the pain that was involved.  The tough love that was expressed in Him having to turn His back on Jesus so that His body beaten and pierced and blood dripped for you and me.
3. Imitate ~ I don't think anything will ever compare to Jesus' death for us.  However, as a way of imitating what God did, try to give something up so that you will experience a bit of discomfort for this short time.

Jesus said that even if we have to give up something as important as family, for His sake, there will be a great reward for us, in the end.  I would bet you have some sort of a family core that you value.  However, to think of them higher than Him is not what He desires.  Put Him first...Seek first the Kingdom...the rewards will follow.

May you see the benefits of trying to give up something in order to draw closer to Him!

It's All Fun and Games Till Things Fail to Work

Last week, I was getting this continual message on my phone, indicating I had problems. I recently acquired a new phone that has so many bells and whistles that it could whistle Dixie and have a church bell sound at the same time. Ok, maybe that was a bit of an extreme, but it does have a lot of features. I am still learning the features, that even for a tech savvy guy, it takes a while.

I called up Tech Support and they told me one thing. I tried it and it didn’t work. Before getting off the phone the guy said he would call me. Well, with the problems that were happening, I couldn’t receive anything - phone calls, texts, e-mail, etc. So, he called and had to leave a voicemail. I couldn’t call him directly, but I had to call back anyway, since that proposed solution didn’t fix the problem.

When I called back I was able to find out what the problem was and get it taken care of. Something on the company’s end was adjusted causing all the problems. They reconfigured the settings and the phone worked well.

Life can be like that. I recently experienced the need to replace my car battery. Not a fun time either.

Anything that works correctly is a blessing. However, when things start working incorrectly, then we have a problem. This brings to mind the famous Apollo 13 line…“Houston, we have problem”.

We can apply this to Jesus’ church. There are so many working parts that are moving this way and that. So, we’re bound to run into each other from time to time. Sometimes that “bump” may hurt someone. However, to be the body that Christ designed, we need to work and be together.

We may work together for a while and things will seem “fun”, but then when something goes out of whack or fails to work, the fun ceases. I need to be continually reminded of this so that I can be praying and be active in doing my part.

Let’s do all we can to try to keep the “fun” alive and be able to use the features that His Body is designed to have - fellowship, teammwork, unification, etc.

Come Hungry

When you were thinking about going to a church assembly, what word(s) would you use to describe your feelings? Do they lean toward positive or negative? How you view coming greatly affects your attitude toward being there.

If you came with a desire to know more, get closer to God, get closer to the spiritual family, or encourage the spiritual family, then you were on the right track. If you came with an expectation from someone – teacher, students, song leader, communion leader, prayer giver, sermon deliverer, or someone else in the spiritual family, then you missed the boat!

When you go to a restaurant, you go hungry. You can’t wait to have your taste buds tantalized and your belly filled. If you entered with an expectation, then you may be disappointed. Service could be slow, food undercooked, servers rude, lighting poor, music too loud/soft or non-existent, etc. A number of things could be what you didn’t expect or want in your experience. However, if you looked at each situation as a way to enjoy life, the outlook would be much different.

So, when you come here, come hungry. Think about all the ways that you can “eat up” what God has given you the privilege to be a part of on that day. No one there is exempt from messing up – whether they are leading something or just a member. However, if we could look at each opportunity to gather as a blessing, in and of itself, our outlook would be much different.

So, come hungry!...

Rule #1: We Are Family

The Ron Clark Story came out in 2006, and when I saw the preview I knew I wanted to see it. When I saw it, I hoped I could have the movie. The dilemma was, it was a TV movie, not out in theaters. Thankfully, after some research, I found out it was made to DVD...and thanks to my beautiful wife, this Christmas she bought it for me.

Ron establishes several rules for his classroom, 55 to date. One of the first ones that he put in his classroom was the one that is in the picture...We are family. This applies so much to church life. As a new chapter begins in my life, this was a strong point that I want people to understand. Here are some applications to use from this lesson...

1. Pray for each person in the church on a regular basis.
2. Pray when something/someone bothers you.
3. Pray for ways you can be of service to your family
   
4. Approach someone when you have concerns
5. Encourage, commend, congratulate, uplift, and anything else positive that you can think of to those who are in the family.
6. Be the first to put your hand out to greet someone or to hug someone's neck
7. Reflect on your imperfection before you point out someone else's.
8. Appreciate those who are in your family - even if you have to look a while to find something to appreciate.

Click on the title, Ron Clark Story Trailer, to go to a website to see the trailer, especially if you have never seen the movie before.

This movie is probably one of my top ten movies, specifically in the drama category. It is very inspirational to try to help others know more!

Appreciating my "family"!

Feeling Bored?

I don’t know how many times I said the words “I’m bored” as a youth. I can remember going to visit my relatives, where I didn’t have any cousins my age, and being very bored. I remember being at home in the summer and not having much to do, resulting in boredom. I can remember several church assemblies that I sat through with that same feeling.

For the most part, boredom is a choice. It may be as a result of a lack of things to do, but did you look around and try to take advantage of what was in your environment or expect your environment to come to you? The idea of boredom brings us to this week’s quote…

Are you bored with life? [or work, church, spouse, family, etc.] Then
throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it,
die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be
yours. ~ Dale Carnegie

I added the other words in the quote because we may not focus on them if they were not mentioned. I am going to focus on the area of church, though it could be applied to most, if not all, the rest.

I mentioned that I have sat through several church assemblies with the feeling of boredom. This continued into young adult, and even continued into my first years as a minister. I wasn’t bored with God, just with the assembly. Why? Mostly because I didn’t appreciate it like I needed to.

I started looking at it from a new perspective. I was looking for God in those times, not expecting God to come looking for me. In other words, I, now, anxiously await what God is going to do in each gathering. How are people going to change? How am I going to be affected? How is He going to surprise me?

When I threw myself into looking for the surprises in my daily walk with God, then I found the happiness that I thought could never be mine! It is an awesome concept that has changed my perspective on so many areas.

If you’re bored…dive right in to things! For example, do you think your community has nothing to offer? Look for ways you can be involved in a committee to try to change it.

I am so thrilled to get to team up with God to see how we are going to do something each day!

Enjoying being on His team!…

A New Found...Togetherness - Acts 2:44

Family reunions are times that tend to bring people from all different places and backgrounds to a common spot. These times are filled with catching up with loved ones, seeing how people have changed, and enjoying good food.

As a church, we are a family. I like to think about the opportunities that we have to get together, both formally and informally, as "family reunions". These are times that we get to catch up with each other, see if people are different than the last time we saw them, and, sometimes, enjoy good food. Each week I look forward to seeing the "family" and catching up with their lives, while sharing a bit of my life with them.

As we've been examining the "early church", from Acts chapter two, we've seen how their actions created a great growth pattern. This is a challenge for us see the principle and see what we can do to help the church of today grow. Here are a few applications to choose from...

1. As electronic devices become "in sync" with each other, to make sure they both have the same information, how do you "sync up" with your Christian brother or sister? Or, do you even attempt to do that with others? Do you pick out your "favorites" and neglect the others? If you do fall into that last category, try to pick out someone new each week to talk to that doesn't sit by you or not someone you normally visit with.
   
2. There is strength in numbers. One snowflake has no chance of surviving when it lands on your skin, as it will melt quickly. However, several put together can freeze your skin. You up against Satan/temptation/evil are going to have a very difficult task at winning. However, take God along, you're a majority. In addition to that, have a good group of brethren helping you through a struggle/difficult time, and you have a strong resource group to pull from.
3. A healthy church is striving to get from one place to the next. Pray that your church and its leadership can be unified so that it will have success in making it to its goal.
4. Who sits by themselves in your church? Who sits by themselves at lunch/breaks or goes to lunch/breaks on their own? Look for those people to see how you can get to know them - it may be the day when they needed that attention you give them the most.
   

The overwhelming majority of people like to have friends. Friends create a place of comfort and warmth. A place you can go to in times of trouble. A person you can call in the middle of the night. They are important and they are what the church should be made up of.

If you are struggling with something, I don't want you to be "alone" and I will be willing to pray for you if you e-mail me at ichthus_man@hotmail.com. You can be as open or discreet as you choose.

May God be with you as you enjoy the "togetherness" that is one of the ingredients of the "early church" that helped launch its growth.

Looking forward to the next "family reunion"...

Stretched Out Love - I Peter 1:22b

"Stretch out and touch those toes...Now hold it...1, 2, 3,...Keep holding...c'mon, don't give up...27, 28, 29, 30, and stop."

For some of you there may have been a mental relapse from a time in your life you were involved in some sort of formal exercise class. You may have been straining to hold on for that entire time. It may have been an uncomfortable feeling. If you stayed with it, it may have become easier to stretch as you did it more frequently. Generally, this is the case for everyone. If we would just push ourselves past the uncomfortable stage, the end is worth it. As we looked yesterday at Peter's instruction to "love one another earnestly" we, too, are asked to stretch out our love to one another. Here are some applications to choose from to use in your life...

1. Peter challenged his readers, in the midst of major persecution, to be active in reaching out to their fellow brethren, wherever it was needed. Pray that you will be more and more willing to reach out your love to every brother and sister here. Regardless of any wrongdoings on their part, if you've been burned before, or if you just want to brush this instruction off to the side. If this is easy for you now, then pray a preventative prayer that will not hinder your spiritual relationships in the future.
   
2. Make a personal commitment that you will do whatever you can when a need is brought up. For example, that you will look at your schedule and see if you can put that off to help your spiritual family with their needs. Or you will see the need as trying something new and work through what may be uncomfortable to stretch yourself...who knows, it may become your new passion!
3. Pray for each person in our congregation, throughout a given time.
4. If reconciliation is needed, pray about it, and make a point to create an opportunity to mend fences.
5. Write a note of encouragement to each person, not just families, throughout a given time.

May we be "guy wires" for our fellow brother or sister as we are constantly stretching out our love to each other, regardless of what is given to us.

Have a great week!

Holding my own...