Be Honest...With Your Friend

One of the things I remember quite clearly when we did our marriage counseling was to be honest when a person asked a question. If you don't expect an honest answer you should ask the question was the message given to the "question asker."

Too often when we are in a situation of advice, we often tend to sugar coat the answer. I see this frequently when a person confides in a cohort about personal problems that involve another party. For example, when someone is the victim of a relationship issue (be it friends, occupational, or marriage/dating, the person who is hearing the information generally takes the side of their friend. In return, they are not only hearing the negative of the other person/party, but they will likely defend their friend.

Keeping these concepts in mind, here is this week's quote...

In giving advice, seek to help, not to please, your friend. ~ Solon

Keep in mind that not every situation is the same. Sometimes a person needs the shoulder to cry on, but there are still other times when the person needs to hear the truth. They need to know that though they were wronged, the other party may have been wronged as well. Whether it was today, yesterday, or sometime in the recent past.

When we are trying to listen to a friend, make sure you are able to see both sides of a situation. Telling your friend they were completely right is not going to help them out in the end. They are going to feel more "right" and fight for that right to be right.

This may also span into communicating to your children. They are not likely the best singers, dancers, artists, or athletes. There are ways to communicate and applaud their efforts without going overboard and making them feel like they should be the next "star" in the field they are aspiring to be involved in. I have found ways to practice this with my kids. This way they do not have a false hope when it comes to their aspirations.

Now it's your turn...how have you handled the idea of honesty when it came to giving advice to a friend/spouse/child, etc.?

When There is Nowhere Else to Go

You've probably seen the scene. Someone is running away from something and they come to a dead end. What will they do now? Sometimes the outcome is good, other times, not so good.

In life, you've probably felt that way. You feel like you've come to the end of your path and there is nowhere else to go. Up, down, left, right...nowhere! What are you to do?

This past weekend, I was given the opportunity to speak at a youth event. Due to Hurricane Irene, the scheduled speaker could not arrive on time. I was called at 6:00 PM on Friday to speak on Saturday at 4:00 PM. Not much time to prepare, but through prayer and planning, God's strength came through victorious amidst my weakness. The other glitch was, after arriving at the event site, I was told the first speaker was not going to be able to make it, so I was now the first speaker, moving up my speaking time to 2:00 PM - TWO HOURS SOONER! Again, it all worked out!

The theme for the event was "Unshackled." I found a cool song on YouTube (here), by Decyper Down, that pertained to the theme and projected my thoughts forward as I was preparing for the talk. It was a hard rock Christian song which I had never heard of, nor the heard of the band.

I went with the idea of the Israelites being on the beach, before they crossed the Red Sea. They had the Egyptian army behind them and a Sea in front of them...nowhere else to turn! Who gave them their way out...God! Who is the same answer when life is closing in on us? GOD!

Here are some applications from the lesson you might be able to use in your life...

• Identify the Shackle ~ What is hindering you from becoming what you need to become? Friends, relationships, yourself, circumstances??? Are you becoming something you do not like to make sure your friends are liking you? This can be for adults or teens. We are being shackled because of these people we're around. Relationships that we are involved in are causing us to be uncomfortable. Doing things we're not comfortable doing. Saying things or going places we're not comfortable with. You are making decisions that are putting yourself in a shackle. Not finishing responsibilities, procrastination, choices...keeping us in shackles. What are your "shackles" in life? Do you feel like you have nowhere to turn?
• Shatter the Shackle ~ Life can hand us situations that will encase us, much like a candle in a glass jar. We cannot become anything else, other than what the jar allows us to be..in this case cylindrical. how can you break free from that? Just shatter the jar. It is like taking the old self and getting rid of it, revealing a new self underneath. This new self can become anything it wants to be. No longer confined to the jar. Shatter the shackle giving yourself room to become something new...
• Create the New You ~ Once you shatter the shackle now you are free to discover the next chapter in your life. In some cases it may be a "new you." The new part could not have been created as long as the shackle was impeding you. Now that you're free from that, you can become something new. What will you create in yourself? What will the future hold for the "new" you?


Life, which is full of definitions, can shackle us. Depression, peer pressure, parental pressure, pressure from a superior, sexual temptations, affairs, thoughts of suicide, alcoholism, drugs, financial struggles, fear, cancer/health issues, work woes, and the list can go on. All will define life for various people. All of which can cause us to feel like we are that candle encased by the glass. We must find a way to shatter the shackle and break free from it! Let's hear the shackles falling off as we look to the future with a new found freedom!

Calling All Concerned

Global warming, flooding, tsunamis, HIV, cancer, hunger, or clean water – which is a concern of yours?  Maybe it is one, two, or more.  Maybe it is none.  It may depend whether or not you’ve been impacted by one of them, either directly or indirectly.

What we choose to be concerned about will have various factors.  Mostly it will depend on our interest in the area of concern. The question is, when it comes to the text that we talked about (Matthew 4:18-22), how concerned are you?  Are you pursuing or coming after Christ to help you increase an area of concern for others?

Sunday, we discussed that Jesus is calling all concerned to follow Him.  More specifically, to come after Him.  Even more specifically, to pursue Him.  We should be thinking about how we should be pursuing Him on a regular basis.  Here are some applications to choose from to use this week…

1. Grasp for More ~ One of the fun things about watching things in 3D is that sometimes it seems like you can simply reach out and grab an object.  Even if logic says you can’t.  As you go on with your everyday life, the concept of getting more Jesus should be that “it’s-just-right-there-but-I-can’t-grab-it” kind of thing.  You will probably not be the one to stop all cancers, but you are willing to put in the effort to make a difference. Use that drive to make a difference with Christ.
2. Make a Choice ~ Similar to what Joshua said to the people in Joshua 24, where he challenged the people to decide who they would serve, that is our everyday choice question.  We must decide who we are going to “come after”.  We’ve all probably rearranged our schedules for things concerning school activities, doctor appointments, vacations, etc.  However, do we do the same thing for faith-based activities?  Do we take off or work overtime so that we have that time free to do something with the church?  Think about the choices you make and how they determine how concerned you are about them versus your faith activities.

When an area impacts you, you will be more inclined to help out or pursue it.  The call of Christ asks us to pursue Him and what He has to offer.  We’re constantly learning, so the pursuit of Him should mimic that…a learning process.

He’s calling all concerned…are you one of them?

God is Able - Ephesians 3:20

Have you ever heard the statement "God is Good...All the Time!"? How do you feel about it? Do you agree or disagree? (I'd enjoy any comments to post regarding your responses) Sometimes we just cannot agree because we are wrapped up in our circumstances. Life is not going well, so we cannot view God as good - especially not at "this" particular time.

It took me a while to fully embrace the statement above, after I heard it. Basically, I missed the point of the statement, along with its depth. I viewed it selfishly. I am sure I wasn't the only one to view it this way. However, now that I do fully embrace the statement I can see the goodness of God in situations. He is not only good, but He is able. Yesterday, we looked at the phrase "God is able" and below are some areas where He is able. May they be useful in your spiritual walk this week...

God is able...

1. To Keep You From Falling - Our ten-month old is beginning some early phases of trying to walk. He is starting to take his hand off of an object to stand long enough to realize he's on his own, then to plop down. As we walk with God, there are times when we aren't going to be having it all right to walk freely. We need to have several components to be able to walk. May you be continually working on the elements found in II Peter 1:5-7 in order to keep your walk balanced and you from falling.
   
2. To Deal With Problems on Earth - Police lineups are generally about 6-8 people. A witness must try to pick out the one they think committed the crime. It can be very difficult because they may look similar. How about trying to pick out someone in six billion? We generally think that we're not important...but God could pick you out easily. You are very important to God. He is so able to deal with the difficulties on this earth that He can easily deal with us, individually!
   
3. To Free Us - When it comes to plans like cell phones, I love the word "unlimited". It makes it so freeing to know you don't have to worry about how much you use. One of our early plans we had a "regional" plan, but it still was "hit and miss" about what our area was once we got outside our immediate area. Plus, we still had a limited amount of minutes to talk. Our plan now includes nationwide service, and to certain numbers the minutes are unlimited. Under the old law, you had a limited amount of time before you broke the law. Once broke, always broke. Under the new law, there is an unlimited amount of grace that is available to those who walk in the light. How freeing it is to know that as we walk with God we can lay our head down at night with assurance.
   
4. To Supply Our Needs - Christmas time brings about a lot of "want". We want so many things...But how many of them are needs? Needs aren't always fun, but we need them. We're in a situation that I don't want to be in, but I may need to be in it. There are lessons to be learned through waiting. You may have a similar story...not wanting to be in your situation but needing to be in it. Ponder your situation and look deep to see if it is one you "need" to be in.
   
5. To Offer Hope - God is able to provide a hope that is beyond all hopes. One with an assurance that is completely comforting. If you don't know Jesus, you need to reevaluate how much hope there is in Christ! IF you do know Jesus, praise God for the hope you do have in Christ!
   
6. To Completely Save - The word "complete" can offer a lot of assurance. When you are insuring your house, you don't want to have certain parts of your house uncovered with your policy, you want complete coverage. If you were to find out that you weren't able to have complete assurance that you would go to heaven when you do what God asks, you wouldn't think it is a very good deal. However, God does save with an offering of complete salvation. Jesus' sacrifice was a one time sacrifice that gives us the assurance of knowing we can have complete salvation! Praise God for His completeness!
   

God is able to do more than we can ask or imagine...that's for sure! May that verse be a sense of encouragement as you start your week (or just go through your week).

Praising God For His Awesome Abilities...