Waste of Energy - a message about feeling sorry for yourself

One of the things I wish we were not born with would be the ability to be selfish. I consider myself about as bad in this area as the average person. Too often I am thinking of myself in a situation - and the situations vary. Regardless of the variances, it still funnels down to I'm thinking of me. There are likely times when you would have to admit you tend to be like this, also to various degrees.

For some it could be "I want" and they may not receive. For others, it may be a sense of idealism in expecting people to react a certain way. No matter how you spin it the end result comes down to variances of selfishness.

An outcome of selfishness can be "feeling sorry for yourself." When this happens it can entrap us into a sentence we should not have to serve. This brings us to this week's quote...

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. ~ Dale Carnegie

During the times I have served the sentence of "feeling sorry for myself," looking back I would easily say that I was wasting my time. Like a millstone tied to someone and dropped into the ocean, to feel sorry for yourself simply drowns your life from being able to accomplish much.

Think back to the moments that you have wasted in feeling sorry for yourself. Someone once said that time is something you cannot get back. That statement is very true. Once we've spent time we cannot make it up, it is spent. Let us spend our time more wisely and not waste it on times like feeling sorry for yourself.

Now it's your turn...what have you learned from wasting time and energy in feeling sorry for yourself?

The First Spring Day

Growing up in the midwest has caused me to be used to wind, aridness, and the four seasons. The four seasons are never able to be completely defined by any kind of a time or event. The summer can be unseasonably cool. The winter unseasonably warm. Then there are the sudden snows or tornadoes that come about in spring or fall when they shouldn't be showing up then.

I've grew up knowing that things are not the same from one day to the next in the midwest. Someone once said this about the weather in the midwest, "Stick around, it'll change." That is defintely true! I have seen days recently where it was so hot we turned our air conditioner on in the car and the next day we were turning on our heater. It is just crazy how the weather is so unpredictable where I've grown up. That brings us to this week's quote...

The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. ~ Henry Van Dyke

Spring is probably my favorite season. One thing is for sure, there is greatness in every season. However, as I have found truth in this quote, I look forward to the spring day(s)!

I love to be able to spend time outside long into the evening with my children, running with them, laughing with them, getting in the dirt with them, flying kites with them, helping them ride their bike, and the list continues.

March 20th is the first day of spring, but that may not always be the first spring day. That can happen before or after that time. Regardless, whenever that first day comes...enjoy it! When the second spring day comes..do the same. Along with the third, fourth, fifth, etc.

Now it's your turn..what is your favorite season and why?

Leap of Faith...It Might Be All You Have

During my early high school years I often had to get a ride home after practices from coaches. They drove right by my house and I was at their mercy regarding when they left and how often they stayed before I was able to go home. My only mode of transportation, due to the circumstances was their vehicle.

For most of my married life we have been a "one car" family. We managed to have one vehicle for several years. In that time there were occasions in which I had to ask people for rides to various places. Because this was not a regular occurence it was not a big deal, but I'm glad it was not an issue we encountered too often. That brings us to this week's quote...

Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith

Sometimes in life one must simply "go for it" to get anywhere. Standing around in life does not enable one to get very far in life. If we all simply sat where we were at, we'd never arrive at where we were going.

We used to have a small black Pomeranian puppy that I can recall being scared to go around a bag of trash because it mostly blocked her way from point A to point B. She would be fidgety about wanting to go past the bag, but she wouldn't just go, initially. She "danced around" gearing herself all up to finally go. When she went, she bolted past the linoleum as fast as she could go.

For our dog, it took that leap of faith to get where she needed to go. Without it, she'd stay where she was at. We are much the same. We need to take a "leap of faith" from time to time. Without it, we's be paralyzed to stay where we were. With a leap of faith, we would see doors open and mountains crossed. What is your "closed door" or "mountain" that you need opened or crossed? Take that "leap" and see what awaits you!

Now it's your turn...what are you going to "leap" over or into?

Be Honest...With Your Friend

One of the things I remember quite clearly when we did our marriage counseling was to be honest when a person asked a question. If you don't expect an honest answer you should ask the question was the message given to the "question asker."

Too often when we are in a situation of advice, we often tend to sugar coat the answer. I see this frequently when a person confides in a cohort about personal problems that involve another party. For example, when someone is the victim of a relationship issue (be it friends, occupational, or marriage/dating, the person who is hearing the information generally takes the side of their friend. In return, they are not only hearing the negative of the other person/party, but they will likely defend their friend.

Keeping these concepts in mind, here is this week's quote...

In giving advice, seek to help, not to please, your friend. ~ Solon

Keep in mind that not every situation is the same. Sometimes a person needs the shoulder to cry on, but there are still other times when the person needs to hear the truth. They need to know that though they were wronged, the other party may have been wronged as well. Whether it was today, yesterday, or sometime in the recent past.

When we are trying to listen to a friend, make sure you are able to see both sides of a situation. Telling your friend they were completely right is not going to help them out in the end. They are going to feel more "right" and fight for that right to be right.

This may also span into communicating to your children. They are not likely the best singers, dancers, artists, or athletes. There are ways to communicate and applaud their efforts without going overboard and making them feel like they should be the next "star" in the field they are aspiring to be involved in. I have found ways to practice this with my kids. This way they do not have a false hope when it comes to their aspirations.

Now it's your turn...how have you handled the idea of honesty when it came to giving advice to a friend/spouse/child, etc.?