Join in With Someone in the Journey of Life

Life is not the same for any one person. We all live through different experiences, different fashion times, different music times, different families, and the differences could continue. So when two people enter into a life together, they are going to bring those differences with them.

If you've been in a long-term relationship, what were some of the differences that made the relationship the challenge? What made it that much more rewarding?

As much as I like to have "me" time, I could not imagine what life would be like without the blessing of the company of my wife, son and daughter. I love them so much and that brings us to this week's quote...

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. ~ Anna Quindlen

Relationships are not easy, but they are very rewarding! When we put in work, we reap the benefits. Sometimes we can reap the benefits anyway, but to work at it is rewarding without the benefits.

So, "get a life" and spend time with people, but it will take effort...Keep that in mind.

Now, you have the opportunity to answer the question posted in the first part of the post...

Love and a Rubix Cube

The Rubix Cube came out sometime in the 1980s and I was one of millions that had one of those toys.  I was also one of the millions who couldn't solve it "legally" (I would take it apart and put it back together).  I would turn it here and there, here and there, but never quite figure it out.  I would get one, maybe two sides right, but those other 4-5 were just not looking solid.  Life can be like that, as well as, love, which brings us to this week's quote...

Love is like the perfect Rubix Cube.  There are countless number of wrong twists and turns, but when you get it right, it looks perfect no matter what way you look at it.  ~ Brian Cramer

Twist, turn, study, twist, turn, study, intermixed with wrong twists and turns. That really can be one of many ways to look at life and love. You try to solve a temporary situation, and so you make a couple of adjustments, but then, you notice that on another side there is a jumbled mess.  So, you go after it again, trying to get all the sized to correspond to their appropriate color.

How many sides are you getting to match up lately?  How has life and/or love been treating you?  This month is filled with love and romance.  Reds and pinks are filling the environment due to the nature of Valentine's Day.

As you continue on in life, think about all the twists and turns that come your way.  Some may be incorrect, but eventually they will come out where all the colors match up.

Enjoy life and love!

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"I Don't"...Want Anyone Else - Ecclesiastes 9:9

Are you one who sees greener grass in other areas?  Do you look at your own circumstances, then compare your life to someone else's and think something like "They have it better?"  It could be about a job, a car they drive, their income, their life (in general), or even their love life (whether married or single)?  Specifically talking about the last option, do you ever think what it would be like to be married or in a relationship with someone else? Do you ever long to have your life be something it is not probably ever going to be? 

As we started a new relationship series yesterday called "I Don't" we are looking at different phrases to add to that which will help us to enhance the relationship we are in.  Specifically, we talked about the phrase "I Don't Want Anyone Else".  This is a renewal and a refocus type of series, attempting to get our minds back on the right track concerning relationships (both personal and spiritual).

Why is it that "green grass" is attractive?  It often is just a mirage to our senses because the "grass" we are able to be around at the moment is just what we need.  Here are some applications to choose from to use this week...

1. Make a list of ten things/areas that you like about your spouse/significant other (if you are not in a relationship, make a list of someone in the church you don't know so well).  What talents they have, why you like them, etc.
2. Re-read your vows that you said to each other, in which you probably responded "I do"
3. Read some of the "one another" passages to refresh yourself as to how you should look at those of which you share your faith.  Here are some examples: John 13:34-35, Romans 12:10, Romans 15:7, Galatians 5:13, Ephesians 4:2, Ephesians 4:32, Hebrews 3:13, 1 Peter 5:5
4. Pray - If you're having a difficult time not seeing your pasture as "green" then you should be taking it to Him in prayer and asking Him to keep your thoughts and/or eyes on the pasture your in.  It doesn't matter if you are just looking for another job or another partner, or anywhere in between.  Appreciate what you have!
5. Accountability - Similar to the above, you need to find someone who will encourage you to keep your thoughts/emotions/eyes on the pasture your at right now.  Not being transparent when you are dealing with difficulties just makes it that much more difficult to overcome.
6. Stay Away From the Fence - If you are having difficulties looking at something to think it is "better", then maybe you need to stay away from the fence that marks off the "greener pasture" and turn around to look at yours.  Leaning on the fencepost and looking out at the "pasture" may cause you to do something you regret - jumping over the fence.

It is frightening how many people "jump over the fence" to dabble in that which is on the other side, literally or figuratively.  It seems that once-a-month I hear of something that has happened in a marriage in the town I live in.  People have forgotten that they would be loyal to their partner.  However, the same kind of thing can happen among church brethren that involves unhappiness with your fellow church members so you look for somewhere else to "go".  These situations all boil down to the "ME" syndrome.  You aren't getting what you want so you start looking somewhere else.  Instead of the "we" approach where you look out for what is best for the both or all of you and how things can be improved.

May we make commitments and stick to them and to remind ourselves that "I Don't Want Anyone Else!"




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Love the One You Love

I've been overflowingly blessed to be married to my Valentine for eleven years. We knew each other before we started dating, but had been separated by my family moving away. Even when we were friends, neither had any thought that we would one day be married. It took one of my friends moving to where she lived to get us together. I wasn't looking for my "true love" but God had other plans. It has been twelve and a half years since that glorious day.

I am thankful that we get to go to bed and wake up next to each other. Though that is common in marriages, I want to extend it to the fact that, regularly, I am thankful to God that that is our norm. There may be times I take it for granted, but that is a rarity. I love my wife and she is the most gorgeous and breathtaking woman in the world!

With a salute to Valentine's Day, this weekend, here is a poem that describes some attributes of marriage.

One look
One smile
One touch
One embrace
One kiss
One love
Two people
Two minds
Two souls
Two destinies
One road
One journey
One ending
Together.

~ Melissa Higgins

May this weekend be a time you can tell your husband how much you respect him or your wife how much you love her! Words, when said with sincerity, speak volumes to your spouse!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Fireproof: Illusion of Interest

Do you find yourself just looking at this, trying to figure it out? Wanting to take your eyes/mind off of it, but can't? The color combination is intriguing to create that visual stimulation that you are just in awe about why and how it can move when it is just a two-dimensional object.

Those are some of the same reactions we have when it comes to being interested in another person. For those of you that are married, when you were dating you were very interested in that person, to the point of not-stop-thinking-about-them. If you are single, then you've had those same experiences with people you have/are dating (or someone you'd like to date). The danger comes when we have the cannot-stop-thinking-about-them feelings for someone other than your spouse.

As we are examining the movie Fireproof this month, let us reflect back on the lesson yesterday that dealt with the idea of the illusion of interest...

1. When you find yourself seeing something you visually like, turn away before it draws you in further.
2. If a parent of a son, take time to teach them about the dangers of letting their eyes gawk all around at the visual images they may see on TV, in stores, in school, at the pool, etc.
3. If a parent of a daughter, take time to teach them about the dangers of being emotionally drawn in to the wrong type of guy.
4. Parents, teach your children about dressing with a sense of modesty. Usually, leaning to the girls, since boys are so visual. (Remember that one can be highly in fashion and still modest).
5. Men, though you may be visually created, you do not have license to abuse that by looking at women with this "they are objects for your viewing pleasure" mindset.
6. Women, though you may be emotionally created, you do not have license to abuse that by finding other sources of which to confide in, tell your problems to, etc.
7. Stay close to God throughout the day to help prepare your mind for action (I Peter 1:13)

The list could go on for quite a while, however, when we think we see one thing, it may only be an illusion that will trick us to think we're seeing something totally different. A simple "friendship" could turn out to be a spiraling-out-of-control situation you never thought would have happened this way. You may get to the "They just get me" illusion (speaking of someone other than your spouse) that builds up flames in your marriage so high, it can't be put out.

For those not married to a person, as Christians, you are still "married" to Jesus, as the church is the "bride of Christ". There will be many different illusions that may try to take you away from that relationship. Keep in mind to do things that will "fireproof" that relationship, also! This applies to all Christians, married or unmarried.

Happily married...

E-mail Encouragement: Happy Valentine's Day!

Today is Valentine’s Day. A day set aside for love and romance. However, love is not just “soft”, “pink”, and feminine as Valentine’s Day often depicts. Love is about giving ourselves, just like Christ did. Love is about staying committed through pain. The church is also called to “love”…love one another. Love is about action, which brings us to this quote about love…

Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it had to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new. ~ Ursula Le Guin

Love is an action. Love that sits is not love at all. Love is about forgiving those that wrong you. Love is about going to someone you have a problem with. Love is to be made new every morning (Lamentations 3:3). Love that remains the same will become hardened and lack elasticity. Love must be able to stretch, so you can forgive those who wrong you. If you won’t stretch to give grace to your transgressor, then love no longer is love. Christians are called to love each other. The church should be modeling love to each other and those in the world. How will you model love?

Have a great rest of your week! May you have many opportunities to model what it means to love others in a Christ-like way today, tomorrow, this weekend, and so on.

Because of His Love ~

Monday Mentionings: In the "Ring" - Part 1 - Genesis 2:19-24

February is here, which means the Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Like most holidays, the advertising hype and the psychological hype is much greater before the event. Once the event has passed, it isn’t on your mind and doesn’t seem as important anymore. However, in the case of Valentine’s Day and marriages, the chivalry and romance should not get “passed” and left to one day a year. Valentine’s Day is set aside to be a little more romantic than normal, but it should not be the only day we are romantic and chivalrous toward our spouses. May we be inspired to do something regularly for our spouses, like pray for them, give them notes, tell them how good they look, pray with them, take time for them, take part in their hobbies, tell them how much we love/respect them, call them out of the blue, and sometimes, some spouses like it when they get some of their “own” time.

This sermon series, titled “In the ‘Ring’” is couched around the idea of marriage. We are looking at different words/phrases with the letters r-i-n-g in them and applying them to marriage to our spouse, as well as, our spiritual marriage commitment to our Lord. The words/phrase we looked at Sunday were the following: weaRING, bRING things to the marriage, shaRING, God-feaRING. Here are some applications to use this week as you serve Him…

1. Wearing your ring is important to the marriage, as it continually reminds you of the commitment you made to your spouse. Appreciate the opportunity you have to wear your ring. As Christians, we also wear Christ. When you were clothed with Christ, you made a commitment to Him. Wear Christ with pride and show off your pristine clothes to those around you this week as you demonstrate what it means to be Christlike to those in your workplace, at school, in restaurants, at the store, etc.
2. If you are married, you brought things with you, call it baggage. Anything that was in the past that has an affect on your marriage, whether your spouse knows about it or not, like people you dated/hung around with, if you’ve had other marriages and/or children, if you’ve been involved with drugs, drinking, pornography, etc., your family’s relationship, if you’ve been in jail, if you went to college, etc. would be included here. What did you bring to your marriage relationship? For all Christians, what are things which you brought to your life in Christ? Pray that you will be able to either tell your spouse of something from the past, continue to work through something you and your spouse are dealing with from things of your past, and/or work on giving things to God that are from the past which still affect you in the present and future. It is easier to go through life without baggage!
3. Sharing your life with the one you love is priceless! You have memories that are both good and bad, but through it all you become best friends. Share with your spouse how your feel about them. You may say that they already know, but these types of things never grow old – so, go ahead and tell them – again! As Christians and our “marriage” to God we get to share in memories of sharing our faith with others. Make a memory by sharing your faith this week with someone, then share that experience with me…I would like to hear how it went!
4. Being a couple which is God-fearing has many benefits toward the marriage. Your commonality allows you to do some amazing things together as the two of you team up with God to serve in the Kingdom. If one of you is not a believer, pray that your influence will be able to positively influence their heart to want to become a Christian. For all Christians, pray that you will continually be in constant reverent fear of God and may that allow you to keep Him as number one in your life!

Have a great week being “in the ‘ring’”!

Awaiting my weekly surprise ~