She says, "How do I look?"
He says, "Fine!"
How did that conversation go after that point? It depends on how you read it and most of it has to do with the way you read the man's answer. Did you read it envisioning him saying it through a newspaper, not even giving much more than a glance? Did you read it envisioning him saying it in the middle of a TV show/sports game and wanting her to move out of the way so he can see the next play? Did you read it envisioning him looking her up and down and giving her the "J.J.", from "Good Times, type of emphasis that may be stretched out a bit like "FINNNE"?
What was it she was wanting to know? Was she wanting to know if her tags were tucked in or if her clothes matched? No, she wanted to know if the guy that had her heart thought she was "rockin' his world" by what she looked like, no matter how simple or complex the outfit may have been.
He says about a recently completed project, "What do you think?"
She says, "It's fine!"
I didn't want to use too generalized of a scenario like mowing the lawn because not every guy mows his own lawn. However, most all guys will complete some type of project, either around the house or at work, that he is proud of and will want to show it to his girl.
So, how did you read it? Was he showing her the project in the middle of her trying to complete other tasks and she didn't take the time to really look at it, so she was just wanting him to quit showing it to her? Or was she really interested in something her guy had done and thought it looked really good?
How things are said, both tone and body language, determines to a great degree how they are received. Yesterday, we concluded our "I Don't" Series by looking at how people can say something and the receiver may interpret it different than intended. Here are some applications to choose from to use this week...
- Realize Your Partner Desires Your Attention ~ During the dating time we show a lot of attention to the other person, even in areas we are not interested in. This just confuses, and possibly deceives, the other person if, after the marriage ceremony, we no longer have that interest. Let your communication be consistent. If you've lost that connection, realize you would do well to get it back by showing interest in the areas you used to share in.
- Realize Opposite Genders Hear Differently ~ Something exactly the same may be said to two people of the opposite gender and it will mean a world of something different. A guy may come out to show how he looks in an outfit and the wife may get away with saying a simple "Fine" response. However, said the same way to her and it may not be received well.
- Realize Words Can Be Like Daggers ~ This doesn't even have to include "put downs" nor does it have to just include disagreements. If you say, "That's the worst ___ ever!" and the response is "No, it isn't", you will either be comforted or left fuming. It all depends on the response. Reading it, it is just words, saying it is different. But words can be daggers that don't have to be a "response", just what we say determines how someone feels after our sentence is completed. Be conscious of how you come across. A man's voice to a female can be comforting or "barking". A woman's voice to a man can be sweet or annoying.
What we hear may not be our fault, as we're made differently. Learning to hear differently for the sake of understanding someone is a pursuit worth taking. Possibly half of misunderstandings, specifically, between opposite genders will be a result of the fact that we speak, hear, and see differently. "Not wrong, just different" (Emerson Eggerichs).
Think about some of these things as you have your future conversations with people.
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