Blue vs. Pink

Practically all of us grew up with the concept of having boys and girls being differentiated by blue and pink. Blue is manly and pink is girly. We even judge on those differentiations, especially for the guy because if he is wearing much pink then there is a stigma attached. However, the same goes, especially for a baby girl, if she is wearing too much blue.

Is it wrong to wear pink for a guy or blue for a girl or is it just different?  With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I thought this may be a good quote to put out there…

Blue and pink, not wrong, just different.  ~ Emerson Eggerichs, author of “Love and Respect”

To give a brief background on this quote, man and woman are indicated by these two colors. Think that the man hears, sees, and speaks “blue.”  Whereas the woman hears, sees, and speaks “pink.”  This author lists a few examples of phrases we may say that are heard differently.

One example is “I don’t have any clothes to wear.”  If you say that to the blue group, you will get one response (typically – no clothes clean). You say that to the pink group and you will probably get a totally different response (typically – my clothes are outdated, I need new ones).  (If you’ve never heard this concept, ask your significant other and see if their response is anywhere close to the "typical”).

Enjoy your relationship and though we may think differently and react differently, that is what we are…blue and pink, not wrong, just different!

My Valentine’s Day Recommendation for Books for Couples:

Love and Respect – by Emerson Eggerichs

For Women Only & For Men Only – Each by Shaunti Feldhahn

Power of a Praying Wife & Power of a Praying Husband – Each by Stormie Omartian

"I Don't...Hear You" - Proverbs 12:18

She says, "How do I look?"

He says, "Fine!"

How did that conversation go after that point?  It depends on how you read it and most of it has to do with the way you read the man's answer.  Did you read it envisioning him saying it through a newspaper, not even giving much more than a glance?  Did you read it envisioning him saying it in the middle of a TV show/sports game and wanting her to move out of the way so he can see the next play?  Did you read it envisioning him looking her up and down and giving her the "J.J.", from "Good Times, type of emphasis that may be stretched out a bit like "FINNNE"?

What was it she was wanting to know?  Was she wanting to know if her tags were tucked in or if her clothes matched?  No, she wanted to know if the guy that had her heart thought she was "rockin' his world" by what she looked like, no matter how simple or complex the outfit may have been. 

He says about a recently completed project, "What do you think?"

She says, "It's fine!"

I didn't want to use too generalized of a scenario like mowing the lawn because not every guy mows his own lawn.  However, most all guys will complete some type of project, either around the house or at work, that he is proud of and will want to show it to his girl.

So, how did you read it?  Was he showing her the project in the middle of her trying to complete other tasks and she didn't take the time to really look at it, so she was just wanting him to quit showing it to her?  Or was she really interested in something her guy had done and thought it looked really good?

How things are said, both tone and body language, determines to a great degree how they are received.  Yesterday, we concluded our "I Don't" Series by looking at how people can say something and the receiver may interpret it different than intended.  Here are some applications to choose from to use this week...

1. Realize Your Partner Desires Your Attention ~ During the dating time we show a lot of attention to the other person, even in areas we are not interested in.  This just confuses, and possibly deceives, the other person if, after the marriage ceremony, we no longer have that interest.  Let your communication be consistent.  If you've lost that connection, realize you would do well to get it back by showing interest in the areas you used to share in.
2. Realize Opposite Genders Hear Differently ~ Something exactly the same may be said to two people of the opposite gender and it will mean a world of something different.  A guy may come out to show how he looks in an outfit and the wife may get away with saying a simple "Fine" response.  However, said the same way to her and it may not be received well. 
3. Realize Words Can Be Like Daggers ~ This doesn't even have to include "put downs" nor does it have to just include disagreements.  If you say, "That's the worst ___ ever!" and the response is "No, it isn't", you will either be comforted or left fuming.  It all depends on the response.  Reading it, it is just words, saying it is different.  But words can be daggers that don't have to be a "response", just what we say determines how someone feels after our sentence is completed.  Be conscious of how you come across.  A man's voice to a female can be comforting or "barking".  A woman's voice to a man can be sweet or annoying.

What we hear may not be our fault, as we're made differently.  Learning to hear differently for the sake of understanding someone is a pursuit worth taking.  Possibly half of misunderstandings, specifically, between opposite genders will be a result of the fact that we speak, hear, and see differently.  "Not wrong, just different" (Emerson Eggerichs). 

Think about some of these things as you have your future conversations with people.

  

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Courting Your Visitors/Customers

Ever thought of treating the visitors/customers that come your way like you were courting them? Probably not.

I am not describing that one should hold their hands and whisper "sweet nothings" in their ear, but there are other concepts to think about. The main point is that you "do all of the steps necessary to grow the relationship". Right???

You will put in the time, make the phone calls, send flowers, cards, or e-mails. You do one or several of these things because you are truly interested in that person. You want them to be interested in you. You hope to see them again. You want to make a good impression on them.

That is the way we should be thinking about your visitors/customers or even those that show an interest that haven't yet entered into your building. We shouldn't be leaving it up to one, two, or five people. All should take some ownership and interest in people that come by to check us out.

Jesus is a great example of putting in time. That seems to be what much of his life was about. What an example! Someone we should be trying to model. Someone who showed interest in those that were interested in him. Someone who did take the time for others. Though our life may be busy, we can show people we are interested. It doesn't take much to do some of those things - phone call, send a card, e-mail, or text message. The impact can be great!

Let's not pass the buck to someone else when we have a visitor. Especially, in the cases where you know them. Knowing them and following up with them, will make an even greater impact.

Remember the time you dated your spouse (or if not married, dated someone)? The attention you put toward them? How your mind was consumed with them? How you took the time for them?

Let's put a little bit of that type of energy toward creating an atmosphere for our guests. Let's put that toward following up with them. Let's make them feel that important.

Take the time...it will make an impact!